my sorrow

Well, Hari Raya is jus round the concer and malay people are busy shopping and preparing for it... I have jus bought a new shirt for myself too... Pass few days werking, dun seem to be happy coz of my 1st asst... He dun think about what people says... Only think about he and his group of indians....

I dun find that abriza was in a wrong when she did not help out with the rush... The affect is tat shift manager also dun wanna help, so wad do u expect her to do... She also a human ma... Dun u think tat he is so unreasonable... YA Lar, every good things he get the credit, when the bad things happen, it will be or fault and not his... Wad kinda of a logic is tat... Excuse me, u got a family, so do we... Must u not give any chance...

Don't u think tat u are too much... Wad u can do, we also can... It's jus tat u dun give us chance to do... Y in the world, u r so unfair... We are also jus earning a living... Unless, like wad all aunties say, u are afraid tat we will outsmart u 1 day, so before that day comes, u wanna get rid of us 1st.... Dream on, coz tat day will come and u will suffer...

qoute of the day: I spit on the face of people who is no good!!

Back again, so tired and stress out... I finially went for my BSMC and it was tiring coz there a lot of theory rather den practical... Well, today is our OPs day and i'm being posted to houngang mall for the training... Thank god was houngang, if i were to be at jurong, oh my god....

Managers at houngang mall very very friendly and approachable... The enviroment was also nice and cosy... Most crew are well-displinced and follow producure expect for 1 or 2... Through today store training, i have learnt to look more on the postive side and give incentives to the crew...Jus like the Doris(RM), she cooked green bean soup for everyone, including us.... Regina(1st Asst) was also very friendly, we can talk freely with open topic and help me to clear my doubts at my store.... Well, doreen( 2nd asst) was a bit quietier den rest of the manager while she working but when inside the manager room, haha, the tail will start to come out but she cheerful.... Nothing much, able to get along even thought we are like 'attachment managers'...

Some store will ignore the 'attachment managers' as they have the mindset that they are only attach... See, people are so different, other store can treat us like part of their team but y not my team, they are so buyers... It's ok, well, my final exam is tomorrow and i haven't even prepare yet... Guess, i always flow as i want... If i can do the question, den i do, if i can't, dn too bad la... I believe in my mind, what i tell Me to do....

I looking forward in visiting houngang mall store as they promise to cooked curry chicken for me... Yumm Yumm... All the best to u guys and thanks for everything... I will try to apply what i learn from ur store...

Feel so lonely nowadays as my baobei seldom call or sms lately... Dunno y... Maybe our gap has been drifting furthur apart... She ask me to move away from her yesterday night and i got to slp on the floor... I say i can't eat nasi lemak at night, coz my stomach can't take it... But she force me to eat... Still say wanna cooked soup, in the end also not soup... Nowadays, people can't be trusted even ur close friends... I feel so lonely coz things i face at werk, i got no one to turn to... While, never mind, at least no one noes wad happening to me at werk... I always turn to my mummy when i got problems at werk and she always give me advices...

Jus like yesterday, my baobei suppose to report to werk, but she did not... After she went to head office, her whole cafe was upside down... Everything was heywire but i jus keep quiet coz i dun wan her to worry, but in the end, she say she dun trust me and this will be the 1st and the las time... I'm fine with it coz since she dun trust me, den wad the point even when i say the biggest things happen at her store...She will never believe me... She rather believe her NEW TM den me coz i'm unless to her... Cakes thaw 12hrs, 2days... Muffins and pastry thaw 12hrs, 2days... Haha... I noe it's wrong but when i tell her, she give the attitude face... Who cares, my mummy noes liao...

Things are not like last time... I can feel how the beanies feel when i see them working with the TM( stupid)... Really feel lonely nowadays and most of the beanies has feedback wad happen when working with the TM, so i jus advice them and tell them not to worry too much, coz i wil help them, but i told them not to tell my baobei wad i teach them, coz she will never believe.... Think the beanies trust me more den her....

Hai, this is only the 1st week of the month and i'm feeling so tired.... Maybe becoz of the last 2 week of werking non-off... U can really feel the tiriness there... But u will look forward for the next coming off day... Feeling bored cause my baobei not with me..

She has gone to werk and heard she kena scold by boss... Wondering how she's doing now... Can't stop thinking of her... Well, at least i have done something for her by helping her to create her cafe schedule... Hope she can have 1 less task to think liao... So worry for her cause she always have so much things to worry and keep thinking all days... 

There is some movement in our patch this month and everyone was like wearing a mask in front of my boss.... Especially the 2 black ones... Cause they always wanna strive for the next post... Who won't wan to get a higher post and earn more... But u have to do in the right way rather den the evil way... Well, if u guys wanna do like this, we shall see how long can u guys go and how far can u guys go...

Things nowadays are getting really heartless... In order of them to survive in the world, is either we killed them or the kill us... Wad do u think??

Back here again, i'm really really down today... Suppose to be a happy outing but its turns out to be a bad 1... I've a big quarrel with my baobei(agaiN) but tis 1 was a big 1... She ask me to take MC for today so we can go to my mum place... In the end, we can't go coz she wana go down to store to clear her *F****** shit left by the bitch(tracy)...  Well, i noe she jus take over new store and it take a lot if time for her to clean up... I understand tat... But y must she always do tat on my off days... 2 days ago, when i was off, she have to work, after tat she say wana go out with me after werk, but cancelled in the end coz she needs to finish up her profit plan....

 While today is her off day and i took Mc jus becoz wana spent time with her. But she show me an attitude when i told her i need some money to see doctor... If i got no money, i can't get an mc so i have to go to work... We were suppose to go to my mum place to play mahjong but my brother can't make it coz she decided to cancel the trip to my mum place and ask me to go pick up something from her... I msg my mum and she say she would sent to me later...

Feeling board staying at home, i told my baobei tat i wanna go work instead of talkng mc and she shouted at me... Her shout make me feels so hurt tat i cry out and was at a lost... I tried calling her but she keeps rejecting my calls...Guess this is wad they call rebritituation... Maybe i deserve it but i always give in to her but she never gives in to me... Tis huge quarrel really make me feel tat i feel so lonely coz i really got no one to talk to anymore... Been lonely is very pitiful coz when u need somone, and no one is there for u, u have to make ur own decision.

 Well, i dun have much friends and i can't get along well with my own family, tat y i created another god family which i can find warmth in... I never been sad when i'm with them and they always give advices to me when i need help... Things are different now, at least last time, i got my baobei to support me in wadever i do... But nowadays, i can't coz she always so busy with her work and beside werk, her family always comes 1st no matter wad.... When i'm off, her family members always ask me wad time she's coming back and if she has any problem in her work... Her family members are always so concern about her unlike mine... When she werks too many days, her family will ask me if i can help her in any place so tat she will not be so tired... Wad the point when i help, people also dun appreciate when i help...

Hai, hope tis is jus a dream and i hope tis dream will ends when the time comes... I always give in to her and shows tat it's my fault in front of everyone tis sometimes i kena say i'm so slut or wadever... Wadever it is, tis is all in my heart and i never told her... Most of my bad and ugly moments, i never told her coz i dun wan her to get upset becoz of me... I wan my baobei to have the best

hAi...

Werk so hard today yet not happy... Wad should i do...

Jus start werk, everything was down... Produts la, cups la, lids la... What the hell... How am i suppose to open store... Schedule waslike 1 kind la, ordering damn F*** up sia... Worse of the worse, there no bun... U tell me how to run...

Well, i had a little arguement with my baobei today... m i rite... She call me to go her store to help her to take something from Forum.. Yet in the end when i reach, she say dun need me liao... How u goin to feel if u were me... I was so disappointed and sad, my heart broke as after so long together, she is only using me to run her errars... Damn it boy... My moody turns moody as i have be missuse by her... Not a big issue but i dunno la...

Mind kinda confuse now... Full of been betray with anger... I try to not be so close but i can't, she like my life... Without her i will die... tat y now still with her... Hai... SAd sia...  

Damn suck yesterday... Went to pick my baoBbei up but seems she so busy, i jus wait... In the process of waitin, i notice somethin... It was my Baobei & fizah shift... So there shouldn't be any problem werkin together for the both of them... But when closing manager (ZanA) came in, things change... Both of them jus went out to Kiosk leaving her behind.... The handover was like taking from a distance... 

Ya, noe tat 3 of them can't werk togetherso i somehow got in between them... While the fizah and  my baobei was outside, there was customer in at main store, they dun even bother to help... exclude my baobei, find she give me excuses sayin tat her crew have not come for closing, so she got to be outside... Well, fine enough for me... Their closers ARE ALWAYS LATE... Since when will u see them be early... NEVER>> & they will always have their own excuses... Since Fizah has already puch out, she can choose to help or not... UH... Sad to say... She sit in the manager room and play my Baobei laptop... Fine for me since they wanna be like tat...

I jus try to help my KaK Zana as much as i can... Not tat i'm kind but if 1 day u need her help, u will noe... I help doesn't mean i wan anything from them... Jus help as they down crew... STUPID CLOSERS... My baobei do schedule also like F***... Noe that the crew will be late, No warning given to them.. Tat y i say tat LP people are to slack... No ungency... Take their own sweet time like their father store...

I was runnin 1 person in the kitchen and nobody help me... Rush was like non-stop and when the kiosk close, the kiosk closer when in to main store to help the counter... Left me alone runnin the whole kitchen and PC.... DAMN IT sia... Run the products, got to wrap myself, cook myself...  And yet PEOPLE say tat I'm CACULATIVE by not helpin them to sweep the floor... SEe... Tis is wad i meant by make urself suffer... Even u help so much, people will still wan more... Not stafised with the performance u give them...

When comes to my mind, i was like F*** U... U think wad i help so much when u were not around and yet u say tat wad i have done is CACULATIVE... Fine for me den... I jus do wad i wan and tat it... Do wadever u ask me to do lor... Jus be quiet and let it be... As wad people says : if u dun open ur talk, no one will noe tat u are mute... wad can i say... Jus do finish my task and go home...

Hi, today is the 1st day reportinG Back to School after our InDuStriaL attAChment... Haha... FeelIng Kinda cool after back 5month... Get to Meet up with Pur frienDs back again... Hehe... We exchange feeliNg from each other, their feelin and thoughts bout their IA attachment...

As usual, back to school, 1st day always do NothinG... Get our time table, short briefin by the teacher, after tat is FREE & EASy!!Well, there feelback recieve by the teachers from company tat how we fair for our IA... Good and bad things bout us.. Anyway, it doesn't bother me coz my attachment is already over...

But there is something i must say, I'm attach to ExxoN MobiL chemical site, everythin there was good, expect... the politics there sucks... My supervisior also suck... Not matter how good i do, he will still grade me as B... Damn him, jus wait and see...  fine day if u need me, see wad will happen to u... Dunono how he become supervisior, something also dunno and need people to explain to him... Wad the hell man... Hai.. Enough of him, the more i say, the angrier i am... Drop this subject!!

Haben been Home for the pasT few days..  Staying at my BAobei house.. Both of us have a good time but seems tat both of us are tired. On saturday she felt early.. As early as 10pluss u nOe... Seldom see her sleep so early.. Anyway, sunday, i got my hair dye... Haha... DiVa MaNgo color... Looks cool...  I slept after i done my shower... Was too tired... Maybe work too hard... coz down crew.. Only run with 3 Beanies and me... Rush was all the way man...

I'm back... today is my 2nd last day of my attachment...  I'm happy and sad on the other hand... Happy as i'll be out of the company... Sad because i miss the shift during my attachment... Oh god, wad to do... Life still have to goes on..

So sad today tat my baobei never call or sms me when she wake up and went she goes out... I had call many time but she did not pick up.. I waited for her call and sms but there was none... Though she would bring me out but, i waited for her so long, she never reply... I decided to go home... I should say, it's my fault tat she never call or sms me coz i told her tat i dun wanna follow  her as i dunno her friends... ( U noe sometimes go out with the person u dunno, tends to get boring as we won't talk.) I always ask her if she wanna join me with my friends but she always say no... I did ask her to go out wif our ex Mcdonald's managers and she won't agree too... MAybe she got the point...

Had a big day too... Fell off the stairs from level 3... Damn it boy... Send to hospital for check up on the back of my head... Lucky it's not a big issue... Try calling My baobei to pick me up, but she did not pick up my call... Hai... During tat period of time, i kept thinkin wad she was doin and y she dun pick up my call... Maybe... I'm not tat important to her any longer... Her friends will always comes 1st... Jus take an example on the other day tat she was off... She went out with her friends and she carried a bag along... When they wanna go clubbiN, she ask me to bring her bag home as she finds it troublesome... So i wad am i to her... BAobei?? a baobei to collect all her unncessary stuff when she dun need....

Usually, i often tell people tat i'm a unwanted child as i'm not in good terms with my family... Father always dotes my elder brother... MoM always dotes my younger sis... Whatever  they do is always rite, N wadever i do is never rite.. Jus dun get it.. Come from the same family yet so buyers to me... God damn hell!!!   who will understand me??